Soccer World Cup 2010


Dirty mouthed Butthead Jackasses

Considering that the Soccer World Cup 2006 only took place in Germany as the result of the incompetence of a man placed under enormous pressure (Dempsey, instructed by his Oceania Confederation to vote for the Cup to be in South Africa, succombed to massive pressure from Germany and abstained), it is fitting that the final match should reflect the deceit, insults and incompetence of men under pressure.

Malouda Penguin

(1) A French long ball comes over the top (2) Henry heads it on to Malouda (3) Materazzi’s heel makes a minor touch with Malouda’s leg in the Italian goal box (4) Malouda's resulting dive would make a Jackass Penguin proud (4) the Argentinean referee incorrectly signals a penalty.

Zidane’s slow penalty kick

Zidane waited for the Italian keeper’s dive to the right before kicking a slow shot to the keeper’s left, hitting the upper-side of the crossbar, bouncing down and then out of the goal. Zidane nervously glanced at the linesman who correctly signalled that the goal.

Clueless Jacques Chirac

The TV Camera panned after the goal to the clueless French President Chirac applauding. One can only hope that he’s applauding Zidane’s kick and not that Jackass Penguin imitator - Malouda.

TV referee needed

It is about bloody time that there were TV replays to check penalty incidents so that we don’t have World Cup finals decided by these fakers.

A fish rots from the head down

The Gods smiled, as sweet justice came at about the 20th minute. Italy won a corner, taken by Pirlo, and Materazzi’s soared above Vieira to unleash a cracking header – the sheer pace and power of which left Barthez (who was off his line) no chance (the 145th goal of the Soccer World Cup 2006).

Click here to read other peoples' accounts of Materazzi's goal.

No more goals
35th minute

An Italian corner, and Toni heads powerfully against the French crossbar above Barthez’s head.

42nd minute

A Mexican wave by the fans, and Zidane is barely touched by an Italian defender but decides to also do a Jackass Penguin imitation.

53rd minute

A brilliant French breakaway with Ribery racing clear down the right, he squares to Zidane who plays in Florent Malouda. Malouda has a good shout of a second penalty, a better shout than the first one(!), after Zambrotta came in wiht a desperate tackle but France's calls fall on deaf ears. The Ref is having a bad day - getting the right calls wrong and the wrong calls right...that's the kind of pressure these players exert on him.

61st minute

Toni beats Barthez off a free kick only to be ruled (fractionally) offside.

62nd minute

In a 1-on-1 situation, Henry finds space to the side of the defender, shoots and hits the Italian keeper.

76th minute

A motor-mouthed Frenchman is yellow-carded for protesting too much at the referee after a free kick being awarded against him.

80th minute

In a jump for the high ball, Zidane falls awkwardly on his shoulder, calls for the medics who spray his shoulder, he miraculously recovers and stays on the field.

87th minute

An Italian falls over his own feet and free-kick France.

92nd minute

Another Zidane corner is easily dealt with by the Italian defenders (in stark contrast with the dangerous Italian corners).

96th minute

Malouda falls onto Gattuso’s back legs in the goal box, no penalty kick awarded.

103rd minute

Zidane powerfully heads a cross high onto Buffon’s right hand – what a stop! A very very good reflex save.


108th minute: The replay shows Materazzi putting his arm around Zidane’s. [Zidane later alleged that Materazzi insulted his sister and mother. Materazzi denied disparaging Zidane's mother.]. Zidane walks away from the incident and then changes his mind and walks back and head-butts Michael Materazzi in the chest – ridiculous behaviour – a red card offence. Click here to see the incident.


The Italian keeper Buffon protests wildly. The officials seem to have missed the incident, but when it is replayed on the big screen Zidane is rightly sent off for the 14th time in his career. Was this the first ever TV decision in a Soccer World Cup? - no, the fourth official claims he saw it live.


Malouda receives a yellow card for being a motor-mouth. The French coach applauds the decision – well, let’s hope it was the decision he was applauding and not the butthead! Barthez takes over the captaincy. A legend leaves the field in disgrace.

120th minute: An Italian furiously hurls himself to the ground near the French corner, joining the Penguin club – extra-time fittingly ending in a similar manner to that which the French started the match (although the difference being the referee wasn’t fooled).


Full-time ends 1-1 (correct score but the French penalty should have come from the Zambrotta tackle! ) and it’s a penalty shoot-out – the second in a Soccer World Cup final (Brazil beat Italy on penalties after a 0-0 draw in 1994). Buffon and Barthez hug and put their hands on each other’s heads.


Andrea Pirlo takes the first spot kick, he takes a short run up, lifts it down the middle with Fabien Barthez diving right and scores.

Wiltord powers his shot into the net and scores with the keeper going the wrong way.

Materazzi shoots low and to the right and in.

Juventus v Juventus. Trezeguet hits the upper crossbar and the shot MISSES, Buffon (who is moving the wrong way) doesn’t have to do any work.

De Rossi powers his penalty in.

Abidal coolly slots the penalty home with his left boot.

Del Piero, a substitute, slots his penalty home with his right boot to the top-left.

Sagnol kicks just to the left of where the kicker would be standing, but Buffon has dived the wrong way.

The 28-year old Fabio Grosso, from Palermo, slots the ball home with his left boot, his team-mates rush towards him to celebrate.


A Hollywood-ending. Italy have slotted 5/5 and deservedly win the Soccer World Cup for the fourth time. Even with the tears falling down some of their faces, their lips clenched; it’s difficult to have sympathy for France. Barthez leads the French to receive their medals.

The Italians, finally reacquinted with their God, repeatedly kiss the trophy with open mouths, holding it high and worshipping it.

Lilian Thuram
19 July 2006

"I know Materazzi, he's very provocative. I've played against him in Italy (Materazzi plays for Serie A side Inter Milan) and he would swear at players and kick them. He's a very tough opponent. Make no mistake, Zidane was wrong, but I know he was provoked by Materazzi." Lilian Thuram, French defender at Soccer World Cup 2006.




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